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atheism, atheist, catholic, christian, christianity, evolution, god, humanism, humor, life, pope, religion
“On first day, I will be passing out 1,000 tickets for free rides to heaven!!!! Thank you, thank you … boy, a lot of you showed, eh? Nothing else to do? Hey, hey … people look, if anyone knows how boring life is, it’s me. I can’t even masturbate! Well, you aren’t allowed to. But, I couldn’t if I wanted to. No sex drive. No penis. No nothing.”
Theists say that we can’t exist without god. Why so quick to judge???
Have they lost all hope already???
Humanity is still an infant.
Yeah, looks like a lost cause.
Some round numbers to give you some perspective on why it’s too early to write off human beings.
We’ve been around for roughly 200,000 years.
We’ve got another 4,000,000,000 left on this earth.
200,000 divided by 4,000,200,000 is .00004999
The rough-average life expectancy in developed countries is 80 years old.
80 years times 365 days is 29,200.
29,200 times .00004999 is 1.46 DAYS!!!!!
WE ARE LESS THAN A DAY AND A HALF into our earth life!!!!
Should we be surprised that most of us still think we need god???
“I’m never going to be good without god!!! Can’t I just go straight to heaven and forgo the earth thing!!!”
This is a dump we took just less than half an hour ago.
We haven’t been on earth FOR ANY TIME AT ALL. You can’t look at our history and infer that we can never grow up … and assume that history is just going to keep repeating itself over and over again. That’s like saying that an infant is never going to be able to wipe its own ass!!!
If you have lost all faith in humanity and want to go around telling everyone that we can’t live without god …
then book a flight to the next world, already.
OR, STICK AROUND AND HELP US GROW UP.
Dude, I did not know you were a math major!
And please, don’t tell those theists that I have a star ship. I don’t want them on it.
One … plus one … plus one, plus one, plus one … plus one is 6.
HELL yeah.
The shits all a joke. Christians fucking with Christians, playing the devil because who else would? The least bit socially conscious and all of a sudden they get branded the anti-christ. It is like no one is allowed to care for the world just because it is in their faith that this world is only a transitional phase. The fucked thing is, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the “progressive” among the theists are actually insane enough to believe that they are part of some Luciferian plot and bla bla bla, Fuck it all. People just have to recover from the dark ages already. And I agree, we are pretty infantile, with little oversight to be making predictions about our true nature or destiny (or fate).
The “transition period” part of their thinking is what really saddens me. How can a person or a society be appropriately motivated to care for each other and our planet during a mere “transition”?
Have you ever seen what happens to a person during a transition? Say, between jobs or a relationship?? It’s INCREDIBLY difficult to care about the present when you’ve been offered something better. In this case … ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN … should we be surprised that people can’t see what’s going on here???
Exactly. And whenever a theologin tries to say that the kingdom of heaven is a physical possibility on earth they are said to be in work with the devil, who is said to rule this world. Even the gnostics were idiots to claim a dualism between the Plouroma and the Kenoma. The “heretics” of this cult of goD are simply restating the same error by casting this life, this physical manifestaton as the product of an inferior demiurge who is the manifestation of ignorance and corruption. I mean, Jeesh, what kind of story is that to work with. The Abrahamic faith has a bad habbit of splintering constantly into waring faction all based on the same errors with self fulfilling prophesies inevitable when enough people believe the shit. Any one who believes they have some better connection with this so called goD figure is the problem. Sure, most have “good” intentions but their problem solving capacity has been hyjacked by parasitic beliefs.
This shit will not endure 7 billion people and the internet. Their irresponsible stance on birth control is going to bite them in the ass. With a population this size, we have more leaders than there are leadership positions available. And, thanks to the internet, those leaders can scream “bullshit,” and be heard all around the world.
The “bluff” of eternal damnation has been called. Word just needs to spread, and there is no stopping it. In 20 or 30 years, Catholicism is going to be a fringe cult.
You have a way with words and pictures!
This is hilarious
Thanks. Pre-post I may have serious intentions, but then end up making it amusing to avoid slipping into a depression, fit of rage or alcohol bender.
Ramen!
Miso!
Meatballs!
Pope Testicles!
Argentinian BBQ, no less
Did you account for an asteroid hitting the earth in your math? Looks incomplete!
Hey, well, I might not make it to 80, either, eh? Could be hit by a car (perhaps intentionally by a christian if I keep it up).
Haha nice
A Jesuit? The storm troopers of the Catholic church. From Argentina? Christ.
Report to Boss: still monitoring, nothing to cause alert just yet. Not a Christian stirring anywhere … SIR: you need better bait.
Christians still stunned by new Pope, I guess (how many are aware that to qualify a Pope has to be ‘well hung’? isn’t that like (as the US marines used to say) “Having tits on a warthog”? (Succinct, those marines …)
Or does he use that ‘superfluous’ tackle in some sort of esoteric rituals involving Swish Guards and/or acolytes?
Dammit~! If only I knew … can’t stand the suspense waiting for the next revelations (if they can afford them—the last lot in the USA alone cost ‘em over a billion) (US dollars …)
This is something that has always shocked me: if you really believe in an afterlife that will be infinitely better than this life, why not try to die? OK, so suicide is forbidden. But risk sports are not. So why not climb the Empire States without a rope? Why not go swimming in the jellyfish-infested waters of Australia? Why not, indeed? Wouldn’t you rather be in heaven than in this valley of tears?
Man of little faith, I tell ya!
So, one of my favorite people happened to be a Catholic priest- he was my partner’s uncle. He loved us, a lesbian couple, unconditionally. I believe in a soul and spirit. Yesterday I held my breath as the new pope took the world stage. What was I expecting? A reformer? A person who would open themselves to the real wounds and deeps scars? Who gives a shit that he cooks for himself and took the subway in Argentina?
I am left to remember the man that taught me about faith and justice and about the former priest I know who left the church to join with those who could no longer tolerate the injustice and inhumanity of the organized Catholic machine. So this is my rant. Foolish, foolish me.
Hang in there, kiddo.
I feel like Catholicism is losing steam, though, don’t you?
Depends on how long the funds last … if victims of priestly love keep coming out, the funds can’t last for ever.
In the most repressive, male dominated sense, yes. I think a segment of American Catholics will eventually split from Rome. Oddly enough I wasn’t even raised in any church really…the debate(s) will rage on. In Minnesota gay marriage is currently being debated in the legislature. To me, just call it civil union, make it a federal law and afford couples equal rights and protection- just sayin’. But that is a different (related) topic
Feel like getting your blood boiling??
http://defendyourpost.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/48/
A project im working on.
Inspiring! Where do you find such energy?? I clicked to follow… you are awesome-
Hypomania
With “god” and his sundry cults as our guiding lights, no wonder we teeter on the brink of extinction after a paltry couple hundred thousand years.
Precisely.
I think we can turn it around. I have to. I don’t like this world we’ve made, but I’m not going to kill myself.
Well of course you’re not! That would be a mortal sin and then you’d never get into heaven!
It would still be a better option than buying into “god”.
Great post! This post is definitely food for thought. I do not agree with some of it though. Transition does not necessarily mean carelessness or thoughtlessness about the planet or our present being. Actually,the teaching of the faith requires that good works and love for the “transition place” constitute part of what secures you a ticket to the big place. But I do agree that we are all still evolving; but it is basically a human crises whether we are catholics or muslims or humanists or “theists”. We are all guilty of being human and “infantile”. Am disturbed by the photos of the starving African children,this of course is a reality,but this is often the picture of the continent in the media,what is it supposed to achieve here?
The pic is to suggest that we are a species with a lot of growing up to do.
I could watch that little monkey (upper right of your blog page) forever.
I must look very similar to that while I’m at work. Only I’m wearing socks.
For all the excellent biting sarcasm that is your undoubted forte,Chris, the Picture of the Pope, and the fabulous wealth that this and the other Papal image implies and the absolute destitution of the last photo should be all anyone needs to acknowledge the fallacy of a caring religion, no matter how much they want to dance the Theological Two-Step.
I agree. Check out that chalice on the most recent post.