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absurd, atheism, christianity, god, humor, philosophy, psychology, religion, science
TO WHOM IT IS UNLIKELY TO CONCERN:
Well, gee, I’ve never written one of these things before. I’m not sure what format I’m supposed to use. So, I hope this doesn’t seem too informal. Hey, it’s my will: I declare this post to be official. I’m going to number my requests, and I hope this will make them more intelligible.
1.) If right before I perish, I scream “mommy!” — I would like for my body to be torn to pieces by starving wolves. It is important to me that they are starving, as I would not want any chance of any of them being a glutton. If they begin to eat me in a civil manner, I insist that they be provoked. Well, you can douse me in any sauce that would be appealing to them; I don’t care. Whatever gets them tearing.
2.) If right before I perish, I should scream “Priest!! Get me a Priest!! I’m sorry! I believe! I believe!” — then I would like to be stuffed and put in The Museum for Spineless Wimps with a placard beneath my feet which states: “Here Stands The Spineless Wimp. He seemed to be living a moderately courageous life all the way up until the last second — when he grabbed for his testicles to make sure they were still there — and, alas, they had always been an illusion.”
Well, I guess that I only have two requests. That’s ok, right?
Optimistically,
The Proud, Atheist, Catholic Mama’s Boy
Hilarious!
Thanks for not being afraid to publicly like my insanity!
I like it
Thank you. Cluttered minds are welcome here.
State of Texas?
I’m thinking that in the last seconds of my life, if I scream something it will probably be things like:
“Get off my oxygen hose, you’re standing on it!”
“Hey, remember that 1500 I borrowed from you? ahhahahahahahahah”
“Holy crap, I can see it… I can see everything, the whole purpose of life and the universe……..”
a random but pointed goof. Hey, we have to approach this from all angles. Not everyone can be convinced intellectually.
I can trace my conversion back to watching Monty Python & Mel Brooks with my dad, while my mom was trying to get him to turn it off.
Did she live? I had always thought that turning off Monty Python was dangerous business.
this is going to sound really awful, but in spite of numerous failed attempts, yes …
her faith saved her from us, no doubt.
gah! I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe… I’d so love to have this conversation on video in a pub!!
Agreed … what, ya don’t show no pda on me like button?
I was answering from the comment notifier thingy. Half the time I don’t seem to have any clue what I’m doing. I loathe facebook and LinkedIn because they take so much time for me to figure out what I want to do… and their both a time suck anyway. I’m trying to stay awake for 14 hour work days mostly this past month+
No problem. That makes me sad. Should it?
Heroes are born, not made it is said. Apparently I was born for this shit. I’m working long hours to build what has not been done before… more or less. That pioneering thing where you are moving along and find you need something … but have to stop and build one yourself because nobody seems to have done it before, at least not how you need it to work.
A chocolate factory, Willy Wonka style?
Sounds interesting. Of course I can’t help but wonder where, what, who … But, I’m not asking you to share anything … as, in the past I have found that sharing too soon can take the fun out of a project.
That is awesome. I love the testicle part.
Thanks, yeah … I laughed as I wrote that part.
Breaks my heart …
pain and loneliness grow from loving my mother and desiring to keep her from crying. And, I don’t feel that I’m alone
That’d be a frighteningly brilliant opening scene to a film/book/story: the grieving relatives sitting in the solicitors office as he quietly unseals the will and begins to read.
That, Chris, is a narrative hook!
“To whom it is unlikely to concern” …
Hana. If only he were alive to get his feelings hurt when they cried.
Who gets all your stuff? The highest bidder?
Free birth control? The pope wouldn’t stand for it!
It took over 4.5 BILLION YEARS for 2 Billion people to develop on this earth … and only 90 years to make 5 billion more!? He can PISS OFF!
Not a payback like, but more like a like mind like. Watch out, I may convert you into an Agnostic. Do you doubt, Doubting Thomas made it to doubtful heaven? Hedge your bets.
I hear ya. I was agnostic. Then I decided that I needed to make a decision. Having a plan b was distorting my perception too much.
I wake up excited about life, now.
Damn. I never could understand legalese …